


Trouble with Paissa

by irissa



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irissa/pseuds/irissa
Summary: The knights at the Rose House have run into a spot of trouble and it's up to Hilda and her reluctant new ally to figure out the little trouble in the Sea of Clouds!





	Trouble with Paissa

“I’ll have another round of the Dragon’s Scourge!” Hilda yelled at the owner of the tavern, Gibrillont. The middle aged elezen looked over at her table, where the other three occupants of the table were passed out, faces down on the table, losers of yet another drinking game with the Mongrel. It wasn’t the first that she had won and it certainly wouldn’t be the last either. She patted one of the patrons, a young elezen lad that couldn’t be much older than twenty one summers, “These poor blokes look like they’ve given up.”

Gibrillont shook his head as he motioned to one of the tavern boys to come over. The young elezen man took the cold frosty mug from Gibrillont and walked over to her table, “I see you’ve managed to sucker a few more men into your little drinking game. I don’t mind as long as they don’t get rowdy. Some of the Temple Knights want to come in and have a relaxing meal and drink after a long days work, I don’t want them upset because of rowdy drunks.”

Hilda shrugged, “These blokes are so knocked out that even if Nidhogg came back from the dead and started rampaging the city, they would still be knocked out cold!”

Gibrillont could only shake his head and give her a half smile in amusement. The tavern was pretty full this time of evening. Many of the temple knights were in for a meal, while workers who had been hard at work repairing the Brume had also sauntered in for a drink. The Forgotten Knight was a tavern for everyone, though it didn’t hurt that even the Warrior of Light had visited the place often. Hilda took the mug and took a nice hearty swig from it before sitting it down on the table. The Warrior of Light, she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him. Last she heard, the little lallafell was out in Ala Mhigo, helping with the newly established government. Did he ever stop for a bit to relax? She looked around the tavern once more, just as she suddenly felt someone bump into her. She spun around, almost hitting the person in the head with her elbow, “Hey, how about ya watch where you’re going! I know the tavern is kinda packed but there is still more than enough bloody room!” She yelled.

“Oh, s-s-sorry,” a timid young woman’s voice said. Perhaps she was one of the poor tavern maids but as Hilda turned in her chair, she saw a hyur woman adorned in a white mage robe. She had short orange and reddish hair and couldn’t be more than twenty five or twenty six summers old, “I was just standing in front of the fireplace here, thinking.”

Hilda leveled her eyes at her. She had heard that excuse once or twice before, usually back in the older days when temple knights would come to the Forgotten Knight and secretly eavesdrop on conversations in hopes of catching heretics. Most of the time those b**** didn’t get what they wanted and just dragged some innocent away so it’d look like they had did their jobs, “Thinking or eavesdropping? If it’s the latter, my pistol will make sure that ya don’t do anymore of that eavesdropping. Ya got it?!”

The hyur’s eyes grew big as she stepped away from Hilda, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry...I’m not trying to eavesdrop on you at all!”

Hilda took a swig from her mug, not in the mood anymore to just ignore her. At least not yet. Not until she knew more. She hadn’t lived this long by being the trusting sort. Not when there were still Ishgardians out there who wanted a return to the old corrupt ways, “What’s a white mage like ya doing in here?”

The woman put her hands behind her back as she looked at the floor, “Oh I just came in here to get warm. I was out...out helping some of the Temple Knights in the Coerthas Western Highlands, they were dealing with some rogue dragons.”

That’s right, there were still some of Nidhogg’s horde out there, causing trouble for the rest of them. Even though their leader had been killed, his cry still rang on in their minds, compelling them to still wage war, even though the Dragonsong war had ended, “Are you a native Ishgardian?”

The hyur shook her head, “Oh no...no, I’m actually from Gridania but...but I’m an adventurer at heart and I don’t feel tied down to...to anyone one city.”

Hilda shrugged, “I’m still not convinced you weren’t just spying on me,” she said as she reached down for her pistol. The hyur shook her head.

“No no please! I really mean it, I’m not here to cause trouble. I just wanted to come in to get warm.”

Hilda chuckled as she looked at the woman, dressed in the robe that covered her entire body, “I don’t know, ya look might warm to me.”

The hyur shook her head, “We white mages aren’t as warmly clothed as we look. Gridania also doesn’t get that cold either. Okay maybe a little cold but not...Ishgard cold.”

Hilda took another swing from her mug, “Ya know what they say, cold builds character. Although I think that’s just a pile of yeti dung.”

“Also...we white mages had a bit of a poor reputation for being slaves to the elementals, only doing their bidding, even if that meant letting the sick die,” she said. She could see Hilda’s horrified look and she sighed, “I know, I know, it sounds really bad and it was. One of the white mages, A-Ruhn-Senna decided he would travel the ends of the earth, helping those in need. I decided to follow in his footsteps.”

Hilda nodded, “Ahhh...well if that’s true, you’re okay. I don’t know what you’re talking about when ya say the elementals. You talking about those...crystal like things that are out in the wild?”

The hyur smiled in amusement, “No no...these elementals are different...they are...well now I’m not sure how to describe them but they are spirits that rule the Shroud and have existed long before we have. In fact, the entire shroud was created just for them to live in. They allow us to live there by their grace and those who anger them suffer their wrath, the greenswrath.”

Hilda could only shake her head. She had learned quite a bit about the world outside of Ishgard and everyday it seemed like she was hearing something else that sounded more outlandish and crazier than the next, “So...help me out here but how do ya avoid angering them?”

She smiled, “Oh...oh we just have to respect nature and not do stuff like chopping down every tree in sight, hunting all the animals to extinction, just being responsible and respecting nature.”

“Well that’s a tale if I ever heard a tall tale before--”

“It’s not a tall tale, it’s like really real!”

Hilda shrugged as she finished off the rest of her drink, “So ya say. Anyways...what’s your name by the way?”

“Amelia Yukari. Do you know where I could go to find some other jobs?” She asked before she tapped her cheek, “Or barring that, just tell me some places where I might be able to help out? I see the Brume is looking pretty rough--”

“We don’t need your pity,” Hilda said as she glared at her. She had heard it from so many outsiders, feeling sorry for their position here in the Brume and thinking that they could come in and magically fix it. They didn’t need anyone’s pity, there was more than enough of that to go around.

“But...but it’s not pity!” Amelia said as she shook her head, “I really came here to help. I’ve even gone around and basically been an errand girl for the knights, braving the harsh cold and the terrible beasts to get supplies where they were needed. I-I will do anything to help out!”

Hilda chuckled as she pushed away from the table, “Well miss, if ya want to not be like these blokes here, I may have something for ya. See me and the boys have been asked by the Temple Knights to head out to the Sea of Clouds and assist the knights out there. Guess they got some bloody monster problem or something. Anyways, we’ve never actually had a healer around and well, having one can’t hurt us.”

Amelia tilted her head to the side, “You haven’t been able to work with the astrologians?”

Hilda laughed, “Half the time I worked with those blokes, they kept pulling the wrong card and making a whole mess of everything. I finally had to tell them to keep their d*** cards in their deck and just heal us! I’ll pass on working with them for a bit!”

Amelia looked away for a moment, like she was thinking. Or maybe she was just distracted by some of the other patrons of the tavern. She better not make her wait too long, it was starting to get dark out and she knew it was getting close to the time for her to head to bed. The trip out to the Sea of Clouds wasn’t exactly a short trip, “Okay...I’ll come with you tomorrow to assist, you can count on me!”

* * *

Amelia gripped the guard rail as hard as she could as the airship that started in Ishgard, flew them all the way up in the mountains of Abalathia, as they broke the line of clouds to emerge within the enormous region known as the Sea of Clouds. She had only seen paintings or heard about it from others but never did she expect to be sailing above the clouds as a literal sea of floating islands and landmasses lay in front of her. It had to be one of the most striking areas she had ever visited and she couldn’t wait to see more of it. Well she would see more of it, after she was done throwing up. Ugh, why had she decided to come on the airship? They always made her terribly ill, causing her stomach to do rolls, somersaults and just move all about in ways that her stomach should not be doing! She heard one of the sailors on the airship announce their arrival but she could only lean over the edge of the airship again.

She could hear footsteps and turned to see Hilda walking up to her. Hilda could only shake her head as she took in the poor image of her right about now. She couldn’t tell if the woman pitied her or was just amused by the whole thing, “You look as green as the grass out here.”

So much for pity, “That’s...because I am. Ugh...I don’t understand how you can just...handle these contraptions.”

Hilda shrugged, “Lady, it’s not like we have any other way to get up here. Unless you white mages know of some spells that can get ya from one place to the next!”

Amelia pulled away from the edge of the airship and sighed, “We don’t...I wish we did now. I...hate airships so so much, they always make me ill and then I spend the entire trip sick.”

Hilda put a hand on her hip, “Well I sent my mates up ahead, figured you might not be ready to shove off just yet.”

Amelia nodded as she down on the floor to gather herself, “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry but I’m such a weakling with airships. I really wish there was another way to get up here.”

Hilda shrugged, “Like I said, there isn’t any other way of getting up here.”

One of the sailors, a middle aged elezen with long gray hair strode over to them, a concerned look on his face, “May I help you? You looked like you were a bit sick.”

“She’ll be fine, I think. Might take her a few minutes to get her feet.”

He bowed, “I understand. We won’t be leaving for awhile so if you need a little time to get your legs, no problem. We might still have some medicine for air sickness, we get quite a few guests who also struggle with airship travel.”

Ugh, how would she be a decent adventurer if she struggled with airship travel? Some of her friends in the conjurer’s guild expressed concern that she might struggle with some of the heavy travel but she had told them she’d be able to handle it. She wasn’t about to just give up or show too much weakness now, “N-n-no, I’ll be fine. I just need like you said...a few minutes to get my legs and I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? It’s some pretty effective medicine, I recommend it to any of our passengers with a little air sickness, it works wonders. It was actually made by the Vanu Vanu here that the soldiers trade with, I’m not sure what’s in it but the stuff is like magic, literal magic,” he said. Hilda chuckled but she only shook her head.

“N-no I’ll be fine. Really but thank you,” she said. The guy shrugged as he walked off and Hilda knelt next to her.

“I’m not sure why ya trying to tough it out like this. I admire it though, so many adventurers talk a big game, acting like they’re the bleepin’ warrior of light or something but once I poke em’ with my dagger, they curl up like a shot paissa!”

Paissa, she had heard about those odd looking creatures that made the Sea of Clouds their home. Anytime she asked for a description, people became at a lost for words on how to describe them. All they could say is that they were generally peaceful but shy creatures, that preferred keeping to themselves, “All of the people I run into...when I ask them about the Sea of Clouds, they keep talking about the Paissa.”

Hilda raised an eyebrow, “The Paissa? They’re just...paissa, nothing special about them at all. They’re just there, can’t tell ya how many blokes I’ve run into that think paissa are the coolest d*** thing around, they’re just there! They also get in my way when I’m trying to do stuff, had to shoot at their feet a few times so they would get a move on!”

Amelia gasped at the thought of that, “Just shoot at their feet? That’s so cruel! Can’t you just wait for them to move or something? Weren’t they here before us? It seems kinda rude for us to intrude on their land and then push them around like we owned the place first,” Amelia said before she realized she had started to rant again. It probably didn’t help that she was from Gridania where they really had to respect nature or else.

Hilda got to her feet and laughed, “Ya know, I had heard that you white mages could be kinda stuckup about protecting nature and all but man, ya really take it to the extreme. I’m not trying to push them around or anything but if they’re in my way, I’m gonna shoo them off!”

Amelia got to her feet, realizing that the little argument had settled her stomach down enough. Nothing like an argument to get her level headed, “Shoo them off though--”

“Oh so you’re on your feet, does that mean you want to continue this further? I’ve fought--”

Amelia stomped her foot, “I’m not here to fight! I’m here to help and I’m feeling better now. You don’t have to pity me now!”

Hilda shrugged, “Oh I didn’t pity ya one bit. I just didn’t want you to be a dead weight. Some of these knights can be kinda cranky if you waste their time and while I’d love to shoot one right where they’ll remember it, we don’t need those problems right now.”

Amelia let out a sigh of relief, the last thing she wanted was to anger a very triggy happy woman, especially Hilda who seemed really trigger happy, “All right, I’ll try to be less of a dead weight to you. Shall we catch up with your...allies?”

Hilda rolled her eyes, “My mates and yes, we can catch up with them. They went out to meet with the captain, goes by the name of Laniaitte. She’s kinda cool, laid back for someone stuck in a dead end position. Or was a dead end position.”

Amelia tilted her head to the side as she followed Hilda off the airship and into Camp Cloudtop, a small outpost with a few buildings for the soldiers and some of the merchants, overlooking some of the large islands. It was quite a sight being able to see all of the many many islands that dotted the sky of the Sea of Clouds and she could only gasp in amazement as she tried to take it all in, “W-w-wow, this is a really beautiful place. Like...like I had heard that it was really pretty but this, this is something else. Like this is even more beautiful than I could ever imagine,” she said as she could feel her eyes tear up at seeing something so beautiful. It didn’t last as she could hear Hilda clear her throat.

“Ya done there? I don’t got all day to sit here while you gawk at this view. It’s pretty and all but I’ve seen it a ton already,” Hilda said. Amelia sighed, she really did want to sit here a bit longer but she wasn’t here to see the sights, she had came here to help out.

“Of course! Let’s get going then!”

Hilda shrugged as she pointed to a group of large trees off in the distance which looked like they had bridges built between the large tree branches, like a sort of mini tree village, “That is where some of the knights are stationed, we’re supposed to meet with Laniaitte, she’s the captain at the Rose House.”

“The Rose House?”

Hilda shrugged, “The name of that bloomin tree house thing they got going on over there. She’s tough but a fair lady. She didn’t believe in me or the Hounds at first but after we did a few missions for her, she started to trust us. We do good work for her and in turn we get some good pay out of it and we also get to work on our shootin’!”

Amelia tapped her cheek, “You mean you’re rookies at using the guns?”

Hilda shook her head, “Rookies? Rookies? Do I look like some green leaf?” She said as she reached for her gun. Amelia jumped back in surprise and Hilda began to laugh. She bent over in laughter, while Amelia just stomped her foot. Was it all just a joke? Had she just meant to scare her a bit?

“That’s not funny!”

Hilda waved her off, “Oh calm down, I thought it was! You’re so uptight, ya remind me of some of those stiffs in Ishgard, the ones dressed up all fancy, noses pointed to the sky. Makes you wonder why they don’t get their heads stuck that way forever! Bunch stuck up ****,” she said as she shook her head with a scowl.

“I’m not uptight! Well...okay maybe just a little,” Amelia said as she made a gesture with her fingers. Hilda just shook her head, “I’m not really good at this adventuring thing so...so...well if you’ll level with me, I’ll work on relaxing!”

Hilda shrugged, “Whatever ya say. I’m done wasting time here, let’s go already! The Hounds will give me hell if they find out I was slacking!”

* * *

Their short trip down to the Rose House wasn’t all that uneventful, They ran into a few rambunctious critters that refused to take no for an answer and that Hilda was forced to put down with her gun. At least at first but after she had somehow talk the trigger happy Hilda into calming down, Amelia used her spells to put the beasts to sleep so they could walk away without killing any more off.

By the time they reached the Rose House, a tall elezen adorned in armor, with a short dark brown haircut, was giving orders to a few knights that stood before her. They hurried off once she finished addressing them as her gaze turned toward the two of them, “Well well, look who has returned to us once again. You brought a healer this time though?”

“Hey and I didn’t really bring a healer...she just tagged along. One of those adventurer types.”

Amelia nodded as she bowed before the captain, “My name is Amelia, it’s a pleasure to meet with you.”

The woman smiled, “Huh, nice and polite. That’s nice to see from an adventurer, too many of them walk in, thinking they’re the warrior of light and that everyone should kiss the ground they walk on. Before they go off and end up being the next victim to the exotic beasts out there,” she said as she shook her head in disgust, “Anywho, I’m the captain here, Laniaitte. You came out here to help out?”

“Yes I did. We white mages have gotten a bit of a bad reputation for being slaves to the elementals and being a slave to their whims, well at least the ones in Gridania. I decided to travel around the world and help others with the skills and magic I’ve learned, instead of being cooped up in Gridania all the time.”

Laniatte nodded, “Well I’ve heard about that from other adventurers. I can’t imagine being slaves to the whims of the elementals but not too long ago, we Ishgardians were defined in large part by our long standing war with the dragons. It was what we were all about, it was how us knights gained honor, by defending the kingdom and slaying as many dragons as possible,” she said as she cast an eye toward the sky, “This post was often seen as a dead end because the dragons don’t really live here and thus, there wasn’t any slaying to be had but now that the Dragonsong War is over, perhaps things will change.”

Hilda shrugged, “Eh maybe. I don’t think some of those high and mighty types in the Pillars will be so eager to see the kind of change that Sir Ayermic is after.”

Laniatte chuckled, “Ever the skeptic, aren’t you Hilda?”

Hilda nodded, “Why shouldn’t I? Those people...they just look down on those of us in the Brume, treating us like we’re second class citizens to them or something like that! We’re all Ishgardians, native Ishgardians and we have every right to live there like the rest of them. They just make me sick,” she said as she suddenly whipped out her gun in a flash and fired it off in a random direction. The random direction being straight at a large bird that lay nearby, just enjoying the fine weather. It fell over as Amelia gasped.

“You...you killed it!”

“Sorry about that, my trigger finger gets...a little jumpy at times,” Hilda said. Amelia just shook her head as she looked at the poor, bird, “Oh don’t worry about it, considering what else is out there, getting killed like that is probably the best way to go.”

Laniatte shook her head, “In the meantime, if the two of you are here to help out, there is something that needs attention. We often trade with the peaceful Vanu Vanu tribe on the other side of the Sea of Clouds but lately a few annoying critters have been hampering our trade routes with them. I want the two of you to go out there and chase them off.”

Amelia nodded. This didn’t sound too bad, there weren’t any dragons in the Sea of Clouds, with any luck it was just some creatures that could be scared off with a little bit of effort. Last thing she wanted was to tangle with something big, “Sounds good. Where should we go?”

“Probably up the road,” Hilda said as she motioned toward the road leading north, “These are some of the largest connected islands around.”

Laniatte nodded, “That is true, it’s further up this road. Normally I’d send more knights but with quite a bit of manpower committed to the Ala Mhigo effort, we’re a little short handed here.”

Hilda grumbled, “Shouldn’t they be done with that by now?”

Amelia shook her head, “You think overthrowing the tyrann...the...you think that overthrowing someone like Zenos is something you do in a day?”

Hilda looked at her with an amused look, “They have the god killer on their side! It should take about a day or so! Isn’t that the solution to every problem, just throw the warrior of light at it and everything will be okay?”

Laniatte shook her head, “Isn’t relying too much on the warrior of light what gets us in trouble? Honestly relying too much on one person to do everything is just a recipe for disaster. Plus I just feel sorry for that guy, the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

Hilda shrugged, “Eh, he’ll be fine. Anyways I figure we better hurry up the road and take care of whatever is being a d*** pest.”

Amelia looked over at her gun, “Just as long as you promise not to fire that thing around without looking where you’re shooting at!”

Hilda eyed her, “And just who do ya think you are that you can tell me how I should use my gun? I’ll just it however I please and if things gotta die, things die.”

* * *

“I never knew there were so many paissa here,” Amelia said as Hilda fired at the feet of several of them, stirring up dirt as they scattered in various directions. Hilda checked her gun before putting it away as she turned to look at her.

“I don’t get what’s your obsession with the paissa! Those little f**** are the worst! They’re like that annoying little cousin you got that pokes and prods you. You try and swat them but they’re too quick!”

Amelia shook her head, “I don’t...get that comparison at all. Paissa are cute though, why do you hate them so much?”

Hilda nodded, “I’ll tell ya why, paissa are really annoying. They’re quick and mischievous, they love to pull tricks on you and then when you try and catch them, they’re already gone!”

Now she could see why Hilda hated them so much, they probably played a few tricks on her that she didn’t like and when she wasn’t able to hit them with her gun, it just irritated her more, “So that’s why you hate them.”

Hilda folded her arms, “I don’t hate pranks mind ya but when you’re trying to get stuff done and you have these small little creatures pulling tricks on ya, you tend to get just a little short with them!”

Amelia nodded, “Yes, I...I can see why you’d get tired of them. We have our own little mischievous creatures in the sylphs. They really love their little tricks and pull them on us quite a bit. I’ve even—whoa!” She said as she suddenly felt something or someone pull on the bottom of her staff, causing her to not only lose her balance but fall to the ground, landing first on her butt and then on her elbows. She cried out in pain as she looked around to see what had yanked on her staff but she didn’t see anything or anyone else around, “What...what just happened?”

“I’ll tell ya what happened, paissa, that’s what! I told you that they are like that! They kinda have to be because cooked paissa is really delicious, let me tell ya. Me and the Hounds have had it a few times and--”

“Cooked paissa?!”

Hilda groaned as she looked at the ground and shook her head, “Would you stop treating them like they’re some sort of cute little toy? Or a little pet that you would take care of, they are mischievous little things that deserve to get smacked!” She yelled as she whipped out her gun and fired a shot at a nearby pile of stones, causing a few paissa to scurry away in various directions, “D*** things are lucky I didn’t hit them.”

Amelia got to her feet as she dusted herself off, “Well if it was a paissa, I really hope they don’t pull that trick again, that hurt!”

“You’ll live.”

“So they really are like the sylph.”

“They’re probably the ones causing all of the trouble, there isn’t much else out here aside from the Vanu Vanu that do much. Let’s go a bit further down the road, I’m itchin’ to shoot one if they so much as try anything funny!” Hilda said as she hurried up the road. Boy could she move fast! She got to her feet and hurried after her as fast she could, not in a mood to get left behind already. She still had to prove she could do this. She looked up ahead, forced to shield her eyes a bit from not only the sun but the burst of color. The Sea of Clouds was home to colorful fauna she hadn’t seen in a long while and while it was lovely to take in, it could be a bit hard on her eyes in the bright daylight.

Up ahead she saw Hilda standing in the middle of the road, looking down at something. As she got closer, she saw that Hilda’s eyes were drawn to a large metal trap that lie in the middle of the road, “That’s a poor spot for a trap.”

“I mean I guess?” Hilda said. She looked around, as if hoping to catch who had put it there, “It does seem too obvious but maybe that’s the trick? It’s so obvious that you don’t think it’s a trap and then they get ya!”

“That’s a really mean trick,” Amelia said and Hilda nodded. She knocked it away with her staff, just as she thought she could hear something chirp. There wasn’t a tree nearby so it couldn’t be a bird. She looked around the area some more and noticed a paissa scurry behind a nearby boulder. She twirled in the air as she channeled the wind around them, causing the wind to curve around and knock the paissa into the air and over to them, where it landed in the middle of the road. It let out a terrified chirp as it tried to get away but Hilda stuck the gun right in its face.

“Nice job. Now how about you tell us just what’s the big idea?! I didn’t come out here to deal with your little tricks!”

The paissa’s already big eyes seemed to grow wider as Hilda continued to yell at it. Sadly she didn’t see a point to it, they weren’t getting anywhere. All they were doing was scaring a paissa. She reached over to tap Hilda on the shoulder, just as she felt a breeze against her legs and noticed her belt was just a little lighter. She looked down in horror to notice her purse had gone missing and even further down the road was a paissa, dragging it away, “H-hey, where are you going with that!”

“Hmm?” Hilda said as she turned around to see what she was yelling about, “Oh no, I’m not wasting my time chasing after him,” she said as she pulled out her gun and fired at it. Before she could even hit it, something rolled by , right in the path of her shot but all they could hear was something similar to a bouncing sound. Like the shot had hit something but whatever it hit didn’t seem to be hurt by it. She heard the sound of metal hitting a nearby rock but so did Hilda, who already turned around to see where it had hit, “I might be a little slow on the uptake but something tells me that my bullet didn’t do a thing.”

“H-how could it? If you shoot something, doesn’t that mean it’s gonna die?” Amelia asked. Hilda stopped searching to look at her with an amused look. Ugh, she hated that look, did it mean she had a lecture coming her way?

“Yeah it’ll die if you hit something major but being shot isn’t the end of the world! Plus there are a lot of monsters out here that have thick hides, bullets don’t mean a whole lot to them. One such b***** is Squonk! Biggest paissa out there and it’s got a hide like rubber. You can shoot and shoot and shoot until the dodos come home and he still lives!”

Amelia thought about what had just happened as Hilda tried to fire on the paissa, something had rolled across the road in her path. Had the mysterious Squonk made an appearance to save the paissa? “So excuse me for being dumb but is Squonk like the paissa?”

Hilda continued to search the ground to see what had bounced off the rock, “He is a paissa, a really really big b**** of a paissa! He’s got the body of a barrel!”

Amelia sighed, “That darn paissa got away with my purse, that had all of my money in it!”

Hilda shrugged, “We’ll get it back, just as soon as I...aha, so that’s what bounced back at us,” she said as she reached down into the grass and pulled out something. She held it up for Amelia to see and she saw it was a mangled up bullet, “I bet ya it was Squonk and he rolled his fat a*** in to protect that paissa!”

Amelia put her hands on her hips, “No wonder they’ve been having so much trouble, these paissa can be a real pain!”

“I want to smack all of them with my gun! Did you manage to see where it ran off to? Maybe we can follow it to see where it’s going.”

Amelia tapped her cheek for a moment as she went over the previous events in her head. She had been a bit distracted when that thing rolled by but now she could remember seeing the paissa turn down another path that didn’t lead back to the Rosehouse, “Yes yes, I think I remember it going down some other path that curled off to the side?”

Hilda nodded, “Well there are some ledges that drop off not far from the Rosehouse, across the meadow from them, I wonder if he’s hiding down there? Might as well go check it out,” she said as she walked past Amelia, bumping her shoulder as she did. She glared at Hilda, who didn’t even seem to notice or even care that she had bumped her. Maybe she was seeing if she was tough? Or maybe she just done it for kicks? Her mind raced with various ideas as to why she had done it but she decided to let it slide for now and follow her down the path.

Hilda didn’t go very close to the ledge and she almost collided with her because she came to a sudden stop, “Why did you stop?”

Hilda held a finger to her lips as she pointed past some of the flowers and tall grasses, where a small hole had been carved out of the dirt, though she couldn’t really tell if it was just a hole or if it led somewhere, “I saw the paissa vanish into that hole, I think it might be a burrow.”

“Wait, do they burrow? They seem to have tiny arms.”

Hilda shook her head, “Nope, those little b***** couldn’t dig a hole if I gave them a shovel. I bet it belonged to some other creature and they abandoned it so the paissa adopted it for its own.”

Amelia put her hands on her hips, “Why would the paissa want to take my purse? Does he think that he could use it to buy stuff? Who is gonna trust a paissa? Would you trust a paissa?”

Hilda laughed, “Do I look like I would trust a paissa? Remember how I said they like to play tricks on people? Well another thing about them is...they can be just a little grabby. They see something shiny, they see anything that interests them and they’ll grab it and take it for their own!”

Amelia sighed, it sounded like trying to get her purse back was gonna be a lot more annoying than she thought, “This is...ugh, I just want my purse back!”

Hilda tapped her cheek, “I think we’ll have to lure him out with something flashier, something that will get him out of that burrow. I don’t feel like digging my hand in there trying to find that purse though, you’re gonna have to dig it out yourself!”

Amelia stomped her foot on the ground, “This is ridiculous, I’ve had it up to here with these silly paissa already!” She yelled as she took out her staff, using an earth spell to cause some of the ground to spike upwards, sending dirt, flowers and grasses all over the place, even showering them with dirt. The poor paissa cried out in pain as he flew high up into the air before he fell back to the ground. Amelia held out her hands as she caught the small paissa, who still had the purse in hand, “There you are! Give me back my purse!”

Hilda laughed, “Well, gotta admit that is one way to get the little b**** out of there! I didn’t think you had a temper--”

“I don’t have a temper but I can be patient for only so long!” She said as she glared at the paissa again. It looked up at her with large watery eyes, probably trying to get its way out of this mess but being out in nature for so long, she had seen that trick far too much, “Oh don’t even try that trick with me, do you know how many little forest animals have given me that look before? Hand my purse over now!”

The paissa produced the purse with the most sheepish look it could muster. She snatched it away and attached it back to her belt, “You should at least ask that little buzzard what the hell are they up to?” Hilda asked.

“Yes, we’d like to know why are you and your little gang causing so much trouble for the rest of us? What did we do to you?”

They heard a squak and she turned to see a large red feathered bird like figure hurrying over to them, carrying a pair of knives in hand. He or she looked pretty fat but they moved pretty quickly down the road as they hurried over to them. The paissa let out a cry of terror and leapt out of her hands and took off like a really fast thing. The bird like creature swung its arm down in anger as it looked over at her, “Why did you wingless ones let my prized fighter take flight? Zulu Tanu has to have prized fighter back!”

Amelia backed away from it while Hilda laughed, “Wh-what are you?”

The bird looked at her before tilting its head, “Has wingless one gone a bit crazy? Perhaps drunk from the walu walu flower? Zulu warned wingless ones that that tea can be kind of--”

“She’s not from around here, she hasn’t met any Vanu Vanu before,” Hilda said. Zulu looked over at her and nodded, “What do you mean by prized fighter? That little b**** is a fighter?!”

Zulu nodded, “Yes yes, tiny paissa is Zulu’s prized fighter! Little paissa has been trained in combat...to the death!”

“To the death?!” Amelia exclaimed in horror. That sounded super barbaric, like something people would do in the Coliseum in Ul’dah, training those annoying little critters to fight to the death?! Zulu watched her as he threw back his head in laughter. Her face turned red as she began to suspect she had been played for a fool, “Did you just mess with me?”

“To the death? Oh no no, Zulu doesn’t have paissa fight to the death but he has to fight. Help earn Zulu money and items to trade to knights for stuff! Trade for lots of stuff but little paissa had gotten free from Zulu and freed all the other fighting paissa! Zundu have been looking all over for them!”

Amelia looked over at Hilda, “Soooo, do you think that all of these paissa, that were trained for fighting, that are now just running around free, got bored with all that pent up energy and decided to go let some steam off by causing trouble for others?”

Hilda shrugged, “I guess, I think you’re forgetting that it’s in their nature to be mischievous and a bit grabby little thieves! I can see it though.”

“Wingless ones after the little paissa too?”

“Gods no, I’m sick of those little voidsent! We were here to help the knights out with a disturbance. We weren’t sure what it was but I now see that it’s those stupid paissa.”

Amelia looked at Zulu, “Ummm Zulu? You said that the paissa had gotten freed? Is it possible it didn’t just escape but someone let it free?”

Zulu nodded, “Possible? Oh yes, quite possible. Us Zundu and other peaceful Vanu Vanu suspect it’s the whale worshiper! The followers of Bismarck that are behind it! They cause trouble for Zulu and Zulu’s friends, along with the wingless knights who we trade with! Trouble trouble trouble, all because they serve white whale!”

Amelia looked over at Hilda, who only just shook her head, “White whale huh? I thought the Warrior of Light took care of that bloomin’ primal! Don’t tell me they already brought it back!”

“A primal? They’re following a primal?!”

Hilda looked over at her with an amused look, “Well what in the seven hells did you think they were serving? A white whale where there isn’t any oceans around?”

Amelia glared at her, “Don’t mock me darnit! I know many of the beastmen out there worship a primal, I’m just...not all that familiar with the primals out here.”

“No worries, no worries, white whale hasn’t come back yet. Primal worshiping Vanu Vanu are a bit scared to summon it again after powerful wingless one killed it. They still worship it though and cause trouble for Zulu and friends!”

Hilda nodded, “So where might we find some of these whale lovers? If they are behind this paissa issue, maybe we could teach them a lesson or two.”

Zulu nodded, “Yes yes, I will show you where they hang out!”

* * *

Zulu led them across the Sea of Clouds, through shallow lakes and paths filled with colorful plants and green meadows for days and days, while they avoided the odd and dangerous creatures that called the Sea of Clouds home. She still hadn’t seen any place that had such a wide variety of creatures and whenever she returned back home to Gridania, she’d have some stories to tell!

He took them to an island that had a long rope bridge that extended from a small island, to a much larger one where they could see a large group of blue colored Vanu Vanu, along with several of the red serpent like creatures called Sanuwa that were often rode into the sky. Huddled behind a nearby boulder were a pair of midlander guys that Hilda seemed to recognize, “Well well well, if it isn’t the Hounds, I was wondering where you blokes have been!”

One of the guys stood up and looked over at them, bearing a buzz cut with short brown hair and what looked like a tattoo in his head, “Oi, if it isn’t the Mongrel and friends! We’ve been wondering where you were and what you’ve been up to!” He said as he motioned for them to join them. He looked over at her and Zulu, “Never met either of ya before but name’s Symme!”

Hilda looked over at her, “Oh, we’ve been dealing with bloody paissa!”

“Aye, we’ve had to deal with our fair share of the buggers! They’re like those Temple Knights back when they were huntin’ for heretics, you couldn’t shake them! They were everywhere! We fought off our fair share of paissa to get over here.”

“Zulu see some familiar paissa, the whale worshipers are behind the paissa napping!”

Hilda rolled her eyes, “Yeah sure, we’ll go with that.”

Symme folded his arms, “So what do we do about the little buggers? I guess we...gotta get the paissa back?”

Zulu nodded, “Yes yes, paissa are prized fighters, prized fighters of Zundu and other friendly tribes, we compete in tournaments with our prized paissa!”

“Didn’t think people did that sort of thing with those little buggers, how do they even fight? Rolling into each other? Letting out the most shrill cry? Staring at each other with those bloody eyes?” Symme asked.

“They outnumber us by...some big number. I think just going in there, guns ablaze isn’t gonna get us anywhere. We need a plan,” Amelia said.

Hilda nodded, “Yeah but just what kind of plan can we go with?”

“We need a distraction, something that will pull them away so we can go in and get the paissa. What would scare them?”

Symme tapped his forehead, “Shame the Warrior of Light is away in Ala Mhigo, we could use him now.”

Amelia sighed. She hated the idea that if people ever had a problem, they could just stand around and wait for the Warrior of Light to show up. It was such a lazy approach and could only backfire if the Warrior of Light got sick of it, “Nah, he deserves a vacation anyways.”

“This bloody bridge is such a nuisance, if only they were closer, we could send a stampeding wiscant in their direction,” Hilda said.

Amelia looked around, in hopes of seeing something that might give her an idea. She was never good at coming up with plans, usually relying on the smarter people to come up with one. As she looked around, she noticed what appeared to be a very large and chubby paissa, much bigger than the normal ones. It seemed to be enjoying some of the flowers, totally unaware that they weren’t that far from it, “What...kind of paissa is that?”

Hilda looked in the direction she was looking at, “Oh, that’s just stupid Squonk, the biggest and most annoying paissa out there. He’s just as much of a nuisance as the regular paissa, just bigger and tougher.”

“Squonk is very favored here in Sea of Clouds, beloved even! It is said that if it’s cries are loud enough, the fabled Bird of Paradise comes down to protect it! Zulu has seen the Bird of Paradise, it is truly a beautiful bird!”

“Wait wait, the Bird of Paradise?” Hilda asked.

Amelia smiled, “I like the sound of this...what if we could poke Squonk enough that the Bird of Paradise comes down?”

Symme raised an eyebrow, “Missy, I’m not sure that’s the best idea. This Bird of Paradise sounds like it might be a bit tough to handle, especially if it feels Squonk has been threatened.”

Amelia nodded, “I was doing a little reading and the Bird of Paradise seems to be one of those big hunt marks, whenever it shows up, hunters from all over will descend to take it down. We just have to make sure Squonk is close enough to those Vanu Vanu for the chaos to happen.”

Hilda laughed, “How do we get that fat *** over there? You want us to just throw him over there?”

“No no no, we just scare him over there! We chase him across the bridge and then...I guess you three can just shoot at it?”

Hilda smiled, “Shoot at it? I kinda like the sound of that--”

“I didn’t mean you have to kill it! That would be cruel!”

Hilda shook her head, “Bloody...you just said for us to shoot at it! What do you expect me to think other than pelt it with bullets?”

Amelia stomped her foot, “Just shoot at it’s feet, scare it enough that it’ll run off, just don’t hit it!”

Hilda folded her arms as she looked at the Hounds, “Well...it’s an idea. Not sure if this bloody plan will work but I’m all for giving it a go. Symme, how about you run around behind it and fire at it? You can try to divert it over here and then we’ll do our best to send it up the bridge.”

“Oi, I’ll get on that right away!” He said as he hurried off. Hilda directed the other Hound to sneak off in another direction, to prevent Squonk from trying to escape.

“Wait, you don’t have a gun, if he comes your way, how are you gonna divert him?” Hilda asked.

“Don’t worry, I have something for Squonk if he thinks about getting past me--” She said, just as a few shots rang out. They heard a loud chirp as Squonk hopped away. It tried first to head in the direction away from them but it didn’t get all that far before a few more shots rang out, forcing him to turn around and bounce over in their direction. Hilda cocked her pistol as she fired several times at its feet. Squonk turned and bounced toward her but she had expected him to do that. She may have not had a weapon but she had something just as good. She pressed her hands to her chest as she summoned a short blast of water which shoved Squonk backwards in the air. He brushed his fur off and bounced to the bridge, realizing it was far too dangerous to go back where he came from. The Hounds moved in on him, encouraging him to keep going with stray shots, not meant to hit him, just remind him the danger from behind.

“Hah, there that bugger goes, I hope their ready for what is about to come their way,” Hilda said with a laugh. She turned to look at her, “Now let’s just hope that this plan actually works.”

Amelia nodded, “If it doesn’t work, then we can just explain to--”

“Whale worshippers sanuwa making odd eyes at Squonk,” Zulu said, causing the two of them to look across the bridge, where Squonk had been cornered by a trio of angry looking Sanuwa. She didn’t know just what had made them so cranky, it’s not like Squonk was a mean critter, “Sanuwa can be very very very territorial, they not like it when newcomers cross their lands!”

Amelia gasped, “Oh no...this could be bad--”

Hilda shook her head, “No no, let’s sit back and watch! They might just do our work for us!”

“What if they try and chase him back across the bridge?”

Hilda looked over at her with an annoyed look as she pointed to her firearm, “Did ya forget we got these? We aren’t useless ya know! If they chase him back, we’ll just send him back over there! Our weapons hurt a lot more than whatever they got there!”

Amelia nodded, realizing how silly it was to panic just yet. She shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them, they were pretty skilled and had been at this for awhile now. Besides, she was still a newcomer to Coerthas at that! The Sanuwa stared Squonk down for a few more tense moments before one of them hit it with a blast of wind from its wings. The other sanuwa followed up with similar attacks, earning chirps of distress from it. This continued for several more minutes until the sanuwa realized that Squonk wasn’t about to leave. One of them bit Squonk, earning an even louder and more distressed chirp out. The other two battered it with blasts of wind while the first one continued to clamp down on Squonk.

Suddenly a really loud and shrill cry could be heard from the sky, louder than any bird she had heard before. The sun went dark for a minute as a huge colorful bird descended out of nowhere, like it had appeared by magic or teleport. It’s head resembled that of a large white flower with the edges bright red. The Vanu Vanu screamed in terror and fled in various directions as the Bird of Paradise snatched up one of the sanuwa with its beak, swallowing it in one bite. Now she began to understand why the edges were red, “Wow, would you look at that! Somehow it doesn’t seem like much of a bird of paradise if you ask me!” Hilda said.

“More like Bird of Nightmares!” Amelia said, just as she thought she heard the sound of whirling engines, chirping birds and a bunch of odd sounds. She looked up to see a sea of adventurers, riding out on whatever they had available that could fly, as they descended from the heavens as they swooped in, hopping off their rides to attack the Bird of Paradise. As they pelted the bird with everything they had, attacking it like a frenzied mob, Squonk let out a different sounding chirp, as paissa after paissa ran over to it. Squonk led the paissa back over the bridge and away from the carnage as they scrambled to get out of its way, “Zulu see it’s prized fighter, Zulu sees many prized fighters, Zulu should take them back to the others.”

Amelia pulled Hilda aside, “Umm, should we let Zulu take them back? They’re using them to fight for sport, that seems so wrong to me.”

“We aren’t here to deal with the affairs of some bloody Vanu Vanu, only to make sure whoever is causing trouble out there, to stop. If the rogue paissa are what was causing it, then our job here is done. I’ll leave that job to the knights. Have you tried to insert yourself into the affairs of the beastmen? Trust me, it’s messier than the Dragonsong War and we just got done with that!” Hilda said as she shook her head.

“I know messing with the affairs of the beastmen can be dicey but this is like...illegal, right?”

“Missy, I don’t know how things are in...wherever you came from but dealing in the affairs of the beastmen is nothing but trouble. They got their...customs or stuff they just like to do and we got ours.”

Hilda nodded, “Yeah and as long as they aren’t trying to summon a bloody primal again or causing trouble, we just leave them be and they leave us be. A happy peace if I say so myself.”

She still didn’t like the idea of the Vanu Vanu using the paissa for their own games but she also was a newcomer here, probably best to just keep her head down and learn what she could.

* * *

Laniaitte stood, arms folded across her chest as Hilda and Amelia explained the situation, the entire time her expression never changing. Either she wasn’t sure how to respond, had seen it all before or maybe a little of both! Once they finished, she shook her head, a smile forming across her lips, “Well it sure sounds like you all had a bit of fun out there.”

“Fun...if you can call dealing with those blasted paissa fun, I’d rather deal with the stiff upper lip highborn that don’t want the old way of Ishgard to die with that d*** Nidhogg!” Hilda said.

Laniaitte shook her head, “Oh dealing with the highborn doesn’t sound all that much fun either, trust me on that one. I have to deal with a rather...persistent one at that,” she said as she looked away with an annoyed look. Sounded like a really persistent suitor to her.

“So it looks like this is another successful job for the Hounds eh?”

“Considering things have been a whole lot more peaceful since that? I would say the Hounds have proven themselves again. You aren’t trusted by some of the highborn but trust me, the rest of Ishgard appreciates all of your hard work and soon you’ll be as trusted as the Temple Knights are. Hopefully sooner.”

Hilda nodded, “Still not sure why we lowborn gotta prove ourselves to a bunch of stiff lipped, stuffy and stuck up rich b*****! They aren’t any better than the rest of us, they just were lucky to be born into the right families!”

Amelia sighed, “Well I guess it could be worse, the situation in Ul’dah is pretty crummy, I think things are getting a little better but it’s such a city of the haves and have nots, it’s so disgusting.”

“I’m not taking a trip to that hellhole anytime soon, would rather deal with Nidhogg’s friends.”

“If you ever had the displeasure of fighting some of those dragons, I’m sure you would take dealing with Ul’dah instead,” Laniatte said with a smile, “Well if that’s all, I need to finish up my report and send it off. Return back to Ishgard and speak with the captain of the knights to receive your payment,” she said with a bow.

“Thank you, I hope we can work together again,” Amelia said as she bowed in response.

“Yea bye,” Hilda said, earning a glare from her. She returned her glare with a smug smile, “What? I’m not one for long goodbyes, plus we work with her quite a bit.”

“Oh...whatever,” she said as they walked off. Maybe she wasn’t for long goodbyes but why not be a little polite about it? Still she had to admit it was a little fun working together, she was rough around the edges but she and the Hounds really seemed determined to make a name for themselves and help Ishgard in any way they could. She had to respect that, “I do really admire what you and the Hounds are doing. It sound really tough and I’m not sure how I’d handle it but it’s good to see.”

“Trying to get on mah good side, aren’t ya?” Hilda asked. She stopped to look at her, sporting a serious look on her face for once, “To be honest with ya, if it weren’t for a run in with the bloody Warrior of Light and seeing what he had to put up with and yet he still soldiers on...well I gotta admit it was a bit inspiring to see. I might still be cursing my spot in life and drinking my sorrows away.”

Amelia nodded, “Well...I wasn’t that much better after the Calamity, spent much of my waking days and nights just feeling sorry for myself and looking for ways to die. I bumped into an aspiring conjurer who recognized my talent and brought me to the guild.”

Hilda looked away, “So I guess you’re gonna go around and find someone else that needs help?”

“Well I am an adventurer, and it’d be such a waste of my talents just to not help others. I’d like to work with the Hounds again though.”

“I’ll only work together with you again if you stop being so whiny and just loosen up a bit. We Hounds aren’t like those stuffy highborn, we want to live a little and have some fun while we’re at it!”

Amelia sighed, “I can’t make any promises but I’ll try!”

  



End file.
